I usually draw portraits with aspects of the person’s life, textured, hidden and incorporated into their personal story. Their dreams, sadness, loves, hope, happiness flow throughout the drawing.

I’ve painted ’19th July’ to show my own story about trying to seek asylum in Australia and instead of finding safety, I am faced with 19th July 2013 policy, of no hope in limbo, told “You will never make Australia home”.

In this painting the only thing which is in realism is ocean. Because everything that I’ve seen during my travelling is based on lies, but the ocean was real and true. The words 19 July tattooed on the top of the canvas same as in my mind.

The fences on both sides of the ocean, shows a woman is stuck behind the bars, watching the ocean. The sun is brightening in her eyes and in front of her lips. The anchor has broken her heart, because she is stopped at a wrong place.

The hands reach for the sun, a symbol of warmth to catch the freedom of getting to Australia, are coming out from the ocean, Instead of catching the sun, those people are drowning in the ocean.

With fire behind the fences, the spiral gets closer to itself, getting more alone and cloistered, until he sets himself on fire.

There are thoughts of making fire in the woman’s mind, but also some brightness of sun that shows that some hopes still remain and stop her from making fire. In front of her face is an angry man who made the 19 July policy. His bruise face and his compressed teeth shows how he hates the woman because she is an asylum seeker.

The 19 July is the worst day of many people’s lives.”

My heart is breaking

Piece by piece

It’s not just a metaphor

Not anymore

I feel it in my chest

Right in my heart

These pangs of pain, torture and trauma that you imposed on me.

But how can you decide

What’s right for me.

But I’ll give you that space

If you could just look at my face and say to me your a queue jumper or trash bag.

I’m sorry I tried to understand

I went too far

Into those walls built from scars .

I didn’t know that you guys are heartless and cruel .

You sold your humanity just to remain in power. 

I knew human-right is just a word without meaning

Implemented in poor nations but not Australia.

I believe you guys are above the laws in either way, correct me if am wrong.

The tears run down my face because of the pain and suffering that I endured for 5years.

There is no light in this place

Only fences and inhuman people like you. 

Liars, liars and cheaters cheating the good of the world just to remain in power.

I will let it go

If you could just bring those years back to me

And all my dreams that you took away from me.

Not a fabricated distance

That is only another wall

Please look at me and tell me how many innocents people you killed in those detentions or prison camps .

Look at me and tell me why you do this .

Look at me and tell me why you separated kids from their parents

Family tear apart, why?

They’re human beings, just like you,  just like me.

Let’s deal with the refugee crisis with humanity,

with support, with compassion to try to help people who are trying to get to safety,

trying to help people who are stuck in refugee camps, 

and recognise that going to war creates a legacy of bitterness and problems.

Your sincere cruelty and heartless speech that you give every day

it cannot be erased from my mind

but I am a fearless

afraid of nothing and I have got nothing to lose .

• Abdul Aziz Muhammat 2018